August 6

 

After months of Sian and Ellie ragging me about doing yoga and meditation, there is a sudden turn around as they decide to give both a go.  This is largely due to Sian downloading some sort of exercise app on her phone which includes yoga.  She admits that she used to think it was easy but finds many of the exercises quite a challenge.  

There is quite a big difference between the yoga I do and the ones on Sian's app. I concentrate on stretching and holding a pose for a certain amount of time, but the guy on Sian's app makes yoga look like one of those awful exercise classes held at gyms.  They are the kind of thing I detest.  First of all, the man is all wrong.  He is wearing that tight spandex that accentuates all his muscles and curves and he looks far too energetic in a frenetic sort of way.  Yoga instructors should always look peaceful and laid back.  

They say things like: 'Now, breathe into Warrior I and hold.' They do not say: 'From camel, move into downward dog and then into mountain.  You have three seconds to complete this challenge. C'mon!  I know you can do it. Three seconds, two seconds, one second . . . and back into camel.' No, they do not leap from one pose to another or make you feel like you are facing the greatest physical challenge of your life.

When I was at high school, I chose to do something called 'Dancersize' as my afternoon activity.  It still makes me cringe to think of it.  A couple of prefects ran it and they were very strict and made us do all this leaping about that I could never get right because if they raised their left hand, I raised my right one and, if everyone was kicking their legs in one direction, I was kicking in the other. One of the funniest memories I have is one of the prefects barking: 'Bryony, we've changed the exercise now.' I was in a complete day dream and hadn't realised that I was doing one thing while everyone was doing something completely different.

I prefer my yoga.