I hit a real low today, which is very unusual for me. Partly, it is because I did not sleep very well last night and partly it is because of the seemingly relentless heat. It may sound odd but it is as though it suddenly dawns on me that we are in a new year and it depresses me greatly. I just don’t feel I can do another year doing the same things, putting up with the same rubbish and just getting poorer and poorer. Not another year of having to deal with stupid rules and regulations, trying to balance finances, queuing for fuel and regarding every single supermarket receipt with despair. Wouldn’t it be great to receive some good news, to buy something without thinking too deeply about it, to go to a bank and get money out?
I spend a lot of the day reading on my bed and thinking of my parallel life in which I live in a rose-covered cottage with a beautiful garden stocked with everything from lavender to daisies, nasturtiums, hollyhocks, snapdragons, violets, peonies – you get the picture. There is always plenty of tea and toast and a big fire going whatever the weather.
The lady in the cottage messages to say that the Internet has run out. There is something not right here for it has only lasted five days.
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