September 30

Early in the morning, I receive a missed call from Cliff Garden.  There are two things to note about this: one that it has nothing to do with a garden on a cliff and, two, that missed calls are a common occurrence.  A missed call in Zimbabwean code means: phone me back at your expense. I have no problem doing this for people who cannot afford to use the phone; I do have a problem doing this for people who can well afford it.  I have even had potential guests do it.  They phone once and then sit waiting for the return call.  'Sorry, I missed your call.  Can I help you? Oh, yes?  Let's spend the next ten minutes on the phone discussing your holiday.  Don't worry, it won't cost you a thing.' It doesn't work anymore.  If I don't recognise the number, the caller can phone me back.

I have a particular way of recording people in my phone's address book.  If I don't know them very well and am likely to forget who they are, I include a little reminder next to their name.  I have, for example, Tapiwa Fridge, Michael Gravel and Keith Spare Wheel.  There are more fleeting contacts simply referred to as Weekend, Possibility and Easter Break. This has caused some confusion when I have gone out without my phone and come back to messages such as: 'Shoes phoned' or 'Saturday Night asked if Sunday is free.' Cliff Garden refers to our very part-time gardener, Cliff.  Cliff spends most of his day outside Greenvale shops asking people for money and a job.  At this point in the year, we don't need a gardener.  The garden is very dry and we manage to water the few pot plants we have by ourselves.  However, there is always very basic work available such as sweeping up leaves or washing the car.  In fact, this type of work is best suited to Cliff whose knowledge of gardening is extremely limited and potentially dangerous. Unfortunately, I cannot give him work at the moment as I am never at home long enough to supervise him.

Cliff claims to have a mother at Ingutsheni, a psychiatric hospital, whom he supports. I always try and help people like Cliff.  There are so many unemployed people in Zimbabwe.  So many people with no hope at all.

We have a German couple arriving tomorrow, but we have yet to receive confirmation from them.  This is unusual for Germans.  They usually book months ahead and, if they say they are arriving at four o'clock, they arrive at four o'clock.  Not one minute past.  What worries me about this booking is that they initially cancelled it and then rebooked. Also unusual for Germans.  Perhaps they are not really German after all.

So far, in less than two days, my new blog has had 276 views.  The blog site gives me a breakdown of where my audience is in the world.  The majority of viewers are in the UK, Zimbabwe and, surprisingly, Ukraine.  There is also one viewer in an 'unknown location'.  This is very mysterious.  Is it the FBI, MI5 or Google?  Perhaps it is an alien, logging into my blog posts as he circumnavigates the world in his UFO.  Odd.