October 9

I am just leaving for work when someone phones.  They would like to stay over the weekend.  I promise to message them our rates as soon as possible.  We cannot quote in US$ any more and, with Zimbabwe's inflation rate at close on 1000%, I have no idea what we charge in Zim dollars.  I'll have to ask John and get back to her.

Later in the morning, I get a call from the same lady.  I ask if she received my message and she says she has.  There is a pause. 

'The thing is that I don't think I can afford it,' she says. 

'Oh dear,' I reply.  'Well, I hope you find somewhere else.' I know exactly where this conversation is going.

'I was wondering if you could give me a discount?' I knew it.

Zimbabweans are not the best of customers.  We are so used to looking for a deal that we forget that qualifying for a discount usually means there is a reason: the booking is for a week or more; five people would like to stay; I have stayed three times before.  I imagine taking my trolley to the till at the supermarket and asking if I can have 25% off because I can't afford it.  

A popular strategy of Zimbabweans is downplaying what you have to offer in order to qualify for a discount:

'But you are actually quite far from where I want to go so it's going to cost me quite a lot in terms of taxi fares.'  Again, there is that pause.  What am I supposed to say: 'OK, we'll move closer to save you money'?

Another strategy is to compare you to somewhere else.

'Brilliant Sun Lodge is charging half of what you are.'  Yet again, the pause.
'Well, perhaps you should stay there.'
'I don't want to stay there.'
'Well, if you want to stay here, this is what it costs.'
'But Briliant Sun Lodge has full DSTV.'
(Big sigh) 'And we don't.  Thank you for calling.'

I am always telling the cashiers at PicknPay that whatever I am buying costs less in Botswana.  To date, it has always proved fruitless.  At most, I get a shrug of the shoulders and a bored smile.

I offer the caller a discount if she stays for three nights.  She says she will think about it.  I ask if she has enquired at any other places.  She says no.  I begin to think she has stayed here before which is why she wants to stay again.  I have a strong feeling she is the girlfriend of a man who stayed about two months ago.  He was constantly looking for a discount, despite the fact that they arrived in a Mercedes Benz (and quite a recent model at that). When they left, we found a receipt in the bin for KFC. They had spent more on a takeaway meal than their accommodation had cost - unless, of course, KFC had given them a discount.

In the afternoon, she phones back.  Is there wi-fi?  Yes, I say.  Is there a desk at which she can sit and study?  No, I say, but we can put one in the room for her.  Thank you, she says, she'll be in touch.

She doesn't call back.