October 11

The electricity is off. It is a grey and gloomy day. Heathcliff rushes past the window again: 'Catherine!  Catherine!'

I get a whatsapp message from a number I don't recognise:

Hie.

That's it.  Nothing else.  Just Hie. Sometimes I feel like running a course in Whatsapp etiquette.  Instead of getting to the point right away, the message plods on:

Hw r u?

Big sigh on my part.  A quick prayer to God to grant me patience with complete imbeciles.

Hw is Byo?

I'm glad they can't hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth their message is met with.

Hw mch for 2 ppl 4 one nyt?

I consider pressing delete and pretending these people do not exist. I cannot abide people who cannot write proper messages. This might sound like pure snobbery, but whatever happened to 'Good afternoon, I am looking for a room for two people for this weekend. Do you have a vacancy?' I don't expect guests to float in quoting Shakespeare, but some sense of formality would be appreciated.

The request itself is not unusual on a Friday. The weekend brings out many a couple looking for a rendezvous.

Wat bout discount?

I lie and says that includes the discount (not sure what this discount would be for).

Whe r u?

I tell them we are in Hillside.

Wat number?

I tell them I will give directions when they have actually booked.

U tyk Ecocash?

Yes, we take Ecocash with charges.

How mch yr chrgs?

This time I leave it about four hours before I reply.  At the end of the message, I remind them that we do not have television.

I don't hear from them again.