June 4

A friend of ours had a burglary last night and so John goes off to help repair the burglar bars and replace them so that they are not so easily removed.  John is not a businessman.  He will do this sort of job and not charge even when he is offered money. He makes excuses like 'the job took ten minutes - how could I charge?' or 'I was going that way anyway and it was as easy as changing a light bulb'.  A couple of years ago, an elderly lady used to phone him every day about something or other that needed to be fixed.  Most of it, John reckoned, should have been thrown away, but he would dutifully glue bits of a plate back together or put a handle back on a pot.  Eventually, we both realised that what she wanted most was the company.

It seems that everyone has become so angry recently.  When I teach argumentative writing at school, I always say that it is important to acknowledge the other side of the argument first.  For example, 'while there is some evidence to suggest that prisons can make people into worse criminals than when they went in, there is more evidence that shows that in fact prisoners are reformed during their sentences and may emerge with a better education or having learnt valuable skills.'  I also tell them never to say things like 'if you believe this, you are a complete idiot.'  However, the 'real world', for want of a better description, as I am not sure what is 'real' anymore, does not operate in such a way.  What I cannot understand is that on a platform such as Facebook, the people you are conversing with are supposed to be your FRIENDS.  These are people I assume you have had some sort of non-cyber interaction with - you have gone to a party at their house, you went to school together, you got drunk together, you have celebrated birthdays, weddings, the birth of children together.  Then why, oh why, do you talk so badly to each other?

The irony is that the tolerance of different views is what has created democracy and it is this very democracy that is now at risk.  Allow people their views; allow them to justify their views.  If you don't agree, EXPLAIN why and then agree to disagree. Accept that not everyone sees the world the way you do and try to understand why that is so.

As I say to all my pupils, when you have to start swearing, insulting or being generally derogatory, then you have run out of words and have essentially lost the argument.  Like a caged animal, you resort to violence as it is the only means left to you.