July 6

Sian asks me if I have always wanted to be a teacher.  Well, what she actually says is: What did you really want to be when you grew up?  I didn't want to be a teacher at all; in fact, my 16-year-old self would have been horrified to have found out I had become a teacher.  I didn't even want to be a teacher when I became a teacher.  I wasn't the right sort of person.  For one, I didn't believe enough in the rules I had to enforce and nor did I want to become one of those old, bitter teachers I remembered from my schooldays.

So, what did I really want to be? I always wanted to be a writer, but I also felt that I needed something else, especially when starting out.  Writing is something you do on the side until you can make enough money out of it for it to become your focus. When I left school, I wanted to be a journalist, but I lacked direction and dillydallied quite a bit.  I didn't want to be a newspaper journalist; investigative journalism sounds exciting, but I am sure it is also quite dangerous and I am not prepared to lose my life for anyone or any cause.

I would have preferred to have worked for a magazine, especially if it was to do with travel.  However, I was never one to do those very one-sided syrupy promotional pieces: Come and stay at the magnificent Wild Africa Lodge.  Set in the breath-taking Honde Valley . . . I really find that sort of thing quite insincere.

The thing is that the one job I would really like to have had is to have been a detective.  Usually when I tell people that, they can't stop laughing.  Maybe it's just me they're laughing at.  Perhaps I am the most unlikely person you could ever imagine climbing through windows and hiding in rooms, making getaways in fast cars or following suspects.

I think I would have made a great detective because I don't look like a detective.  I think people look at me and see a dizzy blonde so I would be an ideal person to hand over secret papers or trace suspicious people.  In a way, I have become a detective because writing involves some of the same skills: people watching, plotting and trying to think of numerous reasons why a character is where they are, what they are doing and thinking.

In fact, being a detective is not unlike being a teacher for it pays to be a natural skeptic.  Pupils are always full of stories and discovering the truth often involves the questioning of suspects and the laying of traps.  It may not (thankfully) involve fast car chases but can be equally rewarding.