'Hello?'
'Hello.'
'Can I help you?'
'Is that . . . er . . . Limerick Cottages?'
'Yes.'
'I am looking for somewhere for tomorrow night. For . . . er . . . two people.'
'OK. Is that a couple sharing?'
Long guilty pause. 'Yes.'
For some reason, it is often a woman who phones. I can imagine the man saying to his mistress: Look, I'm coming to Bulawayo for the weekend. You find us somewhere to stay.'
That somewhere is usually quite cheap though and luckily we are generally too expensive for someone just wanting a dirty weekend away. Wives are bound to find out if too much money is spent. We have actually been asked before if we would still charge for two people if the girlfriend only came round in the morning, six o'clock in the morning. We said, yes, that's fine. By the way, we hope you like dogs. Rolo is very bouncy first thing in the morning. never heard from them again.
Tonight, the lady who phones asks where we are so I describe our general location. She wants the exact address, but I am not willing to give it to her unless she actually books.
Finally, I ask her if she is coming and she says she will let me know tomorrow. That is a definite no. I am very glad. I hope I don't sound prudish; what people get up to in their own time is up to them. What I don't want to happen is for us to get a bad reputation.
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